Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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