I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize