Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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