just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize