you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
can u get pink eye on your cock?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
