worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Come share oat with me in your robe
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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