My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize