Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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