All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
