I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize