lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
