Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
