my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I made him laugh his dick is mine
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
