Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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