Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
