so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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