didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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