Already got asked if we're dating
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
