garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
