What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
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