Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
