I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
