Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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