woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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