She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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