the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Hippo gnu deer
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
