so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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