oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I am one with the molecules
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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