i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
