I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
