dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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