Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Im part way to drunk.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
