you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
