My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
