this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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