we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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