My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We need to get me chipped asap
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
