jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
porn star boner night. come get it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
