quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
