I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
