This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
