yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
