may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
