Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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