Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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