Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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