Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
