Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
look no pants
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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