He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize