I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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