Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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