i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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