I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
