I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
