Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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