Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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