let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
