this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
