No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
