Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
