but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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