Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
