there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
