My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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