You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
